Trip and Fall - Part II

Can't take my mind off of you
These feelings I have are new
You're slowly breaking this wall
I know I'll trip and fall
Fall deep in love and desire
So much in you I admire
All the words that you say
Stay in my mind all day
I want to see your face
And memorize your taste
Can't wait to see your smile
Stay in your arms for a while
I need to feel your touch
I want to do so much
You're the first thought when I wake
You're in the dreams that I make
I want to be your girl
Want you to make me your world
I need to see you again
Don't want this feeling to end

Finding Work Sucks

Surfin' the net day after day
Looking for a job out here in the bay
Still not sure that I wanna be here
But it seems like I'm moving every year
I need to find a job and go back to school
But that job hunting world is just not cool
Checking on Craigslist and Monster.com
Calling everyday to check up on Mom
Staying with my brother and sleeping on the floor
Trying to find work cause I hate being poor
I'm back to square one all over again
Wondering when this nightmare will end.

What Am I Doing Here?

So I lost my job. Fuckin' sucks. "Department Downsizing", they said. Department Downsizing My Ass!!! First real job I get in AZ and I got laid off. That's the corporate world for ya. So now I'm back in SF.......wasn't expecting to come back so soon. I just left on 4th of July weekend to pick up a few of my personal things in storage in SF. Drove 12 hours there and 12 hours back in one long weekend.......a lot of fuckin' driving. Then.......I lose my job. Mom tells me, "Well - maybe that was a sign for you to leave. You never liked Arizona.......see what you can find in SF."

So now I'm here in SF.........jobless......broke.......lonely......cold. I'm staying in a hostel near the Mission. I forgot how gay it is out here. I'm sharing a room with a trannie. Pretty fuckin' weird. I keep trying to look for a job. Not sure what I can find out here.

I have to admit that I miss living out here. But worse........I miss Niko.......my baby boy. I miss my mom, too. This sucks. I can't live without my dog. Everyday I wake up thinking to myself, "What the fuck am I doing here???"

WHAT AM I DOING HERE? DO I REALLY WANT TO BE HERE? YES. NO. FUCK. SHIT. DAMN. I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW.

I try to hold back the tears every night before I go to sleep. I've been smoking weed again lately. That helps.

I dunno.

I dunno.

I just don't fuckin' know.

But it is good to see the ocean again.......real good to see the ocean again.



"Life's a bitch.........then you get fired.......and room with a trannie."

I left my stuff in San Francisco

I'm leaving for Frisco tonight. I'm kind of nervous and excited at the same time. Wow - it's already been a year since I moved from there. Can't wait to see my friends........the landscapes.......the ocean......Pacific Coast Highway. Meeting up with Trish, too. Can't wait to see that gel.

Well - I'm hoping I'll be good........but I probably won't be. I mean......Hey - I'm in SF!

If you're going to San Francisco.......be sure to wear yellow flowers in your hair.......