Roots of My Pride

To all my peeps from the East side
My home, my base, the roots of my pride
Been three years I drove West in my car
Home away from home is what they are
Rich, my baby, my Colombian King
Cuban Christine always shakin' that thing
Sonja, Michelle, and Wendy Gorek
Cruising with Roseanne in West New York
Tara Walsh my best Irish friend
Reminiscing on tales of way back when
Endless adventures with Trish my gel
Peeing my pants when I chill with Rofel
Buggin' out with Cat when we left Dunkin' D
Heather and Haydee making fun of me
Iris and her stories and Carmen falling asleep
Conversations with Agnes were always so deep
Jackie and Tania at KCP
Blazin' with Vic and Dimitri
Ester and her lil' stinky Capone
Vinny's hot voice on the phone
Angelo's dimples and Luis' smirk
Anthony Surma, my favorite jerk
Leaning on Chuck when life was a mess
Picking on Pizzuto was always the best
Ling Ling Cindy and our days at the mall
Phoenix was my favorite booty of all
Sheila and Rosalyn and her sister too
Me and Jimmy always singing the blues
Juan and Gus and lots of food with grease
Shout out to Karen - May you rest in peace
Can't forget my hommies and blasts from the past
The East is where true bonds will last
No matter where I am the love is inside
Always my friends....the roots of my pride.

The Boner Girls

I went to Sedona and the Grand Canyon this weekend with Sarah.......of course I fell (again) and twisted my ankle. What a lovely weekend that was. We got there on Friday night and I took Sarah to this local bar. Sarah and I of course looked like lesbian lovers, and both men and women wanted to get in our panties. We both ended up kissing girls at that bar (well - at least I did........Sarah kissed some girl-dude-thing whatever it was). Yeah......we both agreed that the locals liked us.

The next day Sarah was too hungover to do anything. We went off-roading on this bumpy trail while drinking beer. We stumbled across some bones and thought it was the coolest thing we've ever seen. I dunno.........something about bones and the desert kinda go hand and hand. So as deranged as we were.........we took 'em and packed them in the car. We then referred ourselves as "the boner girls".

Saturday night we went camping at the Grand Canyon.........we set up our tent by ourselves in the dark. We even made a fire and cooked sausages and roasted marshmellows. We really wanted to dance around the fire in our underwear but it was much to cold that night to do that. The next day we saw the Grand Canyon and I fell on the first stop. Sarah laughed her ass off for the next 1/2 hour and so did a Mexican family. That sucked. I'm glad SHE got a laugh out of it. Man........it sucks being clumsy. I think I'm the most clumsiest girl I know. We were only at the Grand Canyon for an 1 1/2. It's pretty boring after a while because everything looks the same and there are no bars around the area and no hotels with a view. But there are BONES on the side of the streets.

Anyways..........that was my weekend update. I look forward to Memorial Day Weekend. I'm going to a place called Prescott.....not sure what's there but I'm sure that's another adventure.


"Life's a bitch.........then one laughs at you."

Clicked On

Office gossip…….talking shit
None of that will make me quit
Stupid girls that always whine
Nothing better with their time
Makes me laugh how much they hate
Intimidation on their plate
My head is high when I walk
Let them gossip – let them talk
Stupid girls are what they are
They’re lucky I don’t key their car
Playin’ their pathetic games
Stupid girls with lives so lame


Clicky people annoy me.........especially if you are being "clicked on". I just started this new office job so I'm getting the whole office gossip and noticing the office clicks. The chicks that I sit close to are very "clicky". I try to be nice and ask them questions but for some reason I feel like they are talking about me. I come in everyday.........doing my job.......learning all I can and all they do is stand around. Then I walked over to where they were standing a few times and I feel like they all just shut up. Now.......I'm not one to kiss ass. My "niceness" only goes so far.........so I've been doing things to annoy them. For example - getting good with the people who rank above me.........talking shit like I know what I'm talking about..........making plans on going out.......and walking with my head up high. It's only about 3 girls that I feel are talking about me...........it just seems like overnight they just stopped talking to me. I have no clue what I did or what I said because I don't even know them enough to talk shit nor do I care. I know that when I walk with my head up high and give them my signature smile (the one that looks like I just found out a dirty secret about them) they hate me even more. But, now one of them is slowly kissing my ass. I just don't get it. Why do people kiss your ass when you are a bitch?!!? I don't like to act like a bitch but it comes out when I run into people like that. And when bitch-mode is in effect..........then that's when I get the ass kissers. You know what I think it also is??? I think that because 2 of them are cali girls and in cali people just aren't straight up. They put on this act that like you then stab your back when you walk away. At least people from the East Coast stab you in the front. I think I make them look bad because of my enthusiasm to work........or maybe they are just straight up haters. Girls can be so corny I swear. I feel like I'm in high school again.

I don't hate.........just because it's so much more fun to get even!


"People are strange."

- Jim Morrison

Crush of the Week - the Artist

I talked to Phil two nights ago. God - he has such an amazing voice. He's an architect and and artist.........gotta love the arts, man. I remember him showing me a few pics of what he did to some red falling leaves. He walked by some trees in the city and saw that a lot of the leaves fell to the ground. He took the red, purple, and green leaves and made an amazing sculpture design on the sidewalk. It branched out in all different directions as if they were veins coming from the trees themselves. It also had a feminine touch to it as if it were mimicking the grace of a women. He is so creative. I only wonder if he is creative in the bedroom and can master the art of love making.

Anyways.....we talked for a few hours about New York, New Jersey, Mississippi.......traveling to Turkey, my visit to Israel........smokey toilet bowls and shitting on railroad tracks. People have such different personalities when you talk to them on the phone than chatting with them on the net. Phil and I have been chatting for quite some time now and that was the first time I've ever heard his voice. Of course he had to be from NY. Everyone I'm attracted to is from the East. Makes me rethink (AGAIN) what I'm doing out here. But I just so scared that if I move back home I'll settle down and get married (as if that's such a horrible thing to do!)

I think in my past life time I was a Muslim that had multiple spouses. I had to be! I wish that I can have several husbands........and a couple of female concubines. That way I can have one of each.........the artist......the macho man.....the intellectual.......the comedian........the dreamer........the sports finatic.......a few europeans.....the bad boy.......and the good boy......and whatever else charms me.

I love men so much that it brings me back to square one..........hopeless romantic. The obsession of falling and being in love but being to picky to stick around. I'm definitely not marriage material unless I can have several of them.

Anyways......Phil is sending me a print........maybe even an original. I love his work. Because of him........whenever I see colored leaves on the ground I think of him. He is definitely my crush of the week!


"What I am seeking is not the real and not the unreal but rather the unconscious, the mystery of the instinctive in the human race."

- Robert Motherwell

Stupid Blog

I swear......I can't stand stupid people. Why are people so stupid???? At the same time stupid people are the ones that entertain me the most. I mean.......my friends are stupid......the guys I date are stupid.......I do stupid things.

I dunno. I'm drunk. This blog is stupid.

Even the word "Stupid" sounds stupid. Say it several times.........doesn't it begin to sound stupid to you????

Religious Fanatics and Fanatical Atheists

There are two kinds of people that annoy me the most - religious fanatics and fanatical atheists. I don't know what it is, but for some reason it annoys me when people are too religious. But what annoys me more is people who don't have faith at all. I can't bring myself to preach about God........yet when I meet atheists......I can't help but feel sorry for their souls.

Religion is a man-made thing. When people are enlightened by their religion, they believe that the only way others can be saved is through their beliefs. But how many religions are there that claim that they are "the one" right religion? Then wars happen over differences in belief and then people kill in the name of God. But then that contradicts any beliefs at all. We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. Why is that?

Then there is reincarnation........it's possible. Anything is possible. I don't think we were put on this Earth to figure out what happens to us when we die. I really don't think we were meant to know. For thousands and thousands of years people have been trying to figure out the after life and what pleases God or the gods. And for years and years there have also been non-believers.

I'm neither a believer or non-believer. I just don't stress out about it. I do believe in God or some kind of higher force. I even believe in reincarnation. I believe in spirits and ghosts and angels and demons. And at the same time I am a strict believer of evolution. I am not, however, an atheist. Far from it actually. I don't consider myself being part of any religion, nor do I disagree with other people's beliefs. I just think it's better believe in something than nothing at all.


I believe in science and evolution, and I also believe in God but have no religion. Is there term for that? I just believe anything is possible.........that's all.



Speaking of religion.......this is an interesting Catholic quote:

Come down and redeem us from virtue,
Our Lady of Pain.

Ruffin' It Up

Next week I'm going to Sedona again.....this time I'm bringing Sarah. I'm planning to take her to the Grand Canyon, too. By the way I still have scabs from that fall two weeks ago. Anyways........it's about damn time that girl steps out of Goodyear. We are planning on going camping.....finally found someone who isn't afraid of ruffin' it up to go camping. We are going to be two lil' princesses in the middle of a campground. That should be interesting. We'll have fun. We always do.

I dunno.........for some reason with that girl we always find ourselves in these amazing adventures. And I swear we don't do anything. We just sit there among ourselves just chatting about life........then adventure always seems to find us. We always have the most interesting midwesterners approaching us. And I guess we get easily amused because neither one of us is literally "from" Arizona. I mean just the other day we were supposed to get coffee. We ended up at a bar (country karaoke nonetheless).....got free drinks.......sang "I touch myself".....lit our fingers on fire, and came home with a giant sunflower and wrought iron glasses......on a MONDAY NIGHT!

Well......next weekend should definitely be interesting. Can't wait to see what kind of adventure we will get into this time. Hopefully I won't fall this time. Aaaah.........things can be worse I guess - I can be an angry 14 yr old.


"Life's a bitch and so are me and my friends."

So Important Yet Have No Clue

Well I started my new job. FDI - Facilities Development Incorporated (I think that's what it stands for.) I am an assistant equipment planner. What does an assistant equipment planner do? I had NO IDEA when I went for the interview and interviewed with six people. But....Hey - I got the job. I got my cubicle.......tapping in on the office gossip.......even going on business trips. Oooooooo........business trips. I never had a job fly me out to different states before on business. I feel so important yet I have no clue what I'm doing.

I'm also going on a trip to Hawaii. I'm going to be meeting up with my old roommate from SF.....Jon - the "Spouting Horn".......Mr. Pogacious One. I'm looking forward to it. We both kinda had crushes on each other living together but I made it clear at the house that I was not going to mess around with any roommates. What a stupid idiot I was! Anyways........I'm not sure what to expect when I go to Hawaii. All I know is that I'm going to have a blast. I've been wanting to move to Hawaii for some time now. Hmmmmm.........maybe with Jon.

Anyways........love life is sucking again. I think I may be losing my streak. Well - it was fun while it lasted. It'll come again.



"Better to be a lion for one day than a sheep all your life."

- Elizabeth Kenny

Nobody is my type

Vinny likes me..........I know he does. And I like him, too. Vinny is this Italian Stallion from Brooklyn. He has the NY accent, manly voice, nice body, sick sense of humor, sex appeal, killer smile, and macho attitude with a sweet side to him. I've had this crush on him for some time now and feelings are getting stronger. He wants me to move back home to the East. He told me he'd take care of me, support me, provide for me, wine, dine, and 69 me. He is just my type, too.........totally someone I would go for. But I say that now.........suppose if things aren't what they seem? Suppose if he's not Prince Charming or rather Prince Italian Stallion? Suppose if he's just a Drunken Mule?

Nobody is my type.

I don't think there is that one person who is the "right" one for me. I thought Jon was my type but there is no sex appeal. I thought Rich was my type but things wouldn't work out between us. Now Vinny. His proposition. His voice.

Dammit! I hate when I do this. I fall in love so quickly. How can someone so picky love so quickly? How many times can one fall in love? How many times can one be infactuated? How many times can one be swept off her feet?

As much as I know myself........lil' Miss Adaptable.........I still go with the flow because I love that feeling of being in love. I love seeing my future with someone. I love having crushes and having butterflies in my stomach. I see the world in a different perspective when I'm in love. And it's a good feeling.

Am I difficult to understand? I think I am. I'm so unpredictable. I amuse myself almost everyday by just being me. How can anyone truly understand me and accept me? I'm so much to handle.........but isn't everyone?

I'm no one's type and everyone's type, and everyone is my type and no one is my type. Maybe that's the reason why people can't stay together FOREVER. Seriously.......everyone has a type........but is that who they end up with........and when they get their type........is that who they want to stay with?



"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."

- Joan Crawford